The Gift You Are

I love receiving gifts.  I love the lone flower given by a child, plucked from their garden (or their neighbor's) just before coming to school.  I love the spontaneous cards my students make when spurred on by a strong emotion. And I love the more formal gifts, given on birthdays and other special occasions.  There is something about the hidden nature of a present . . .the moments right before you open it, the guessing before the unveiling.  There is something extra special about the gifts in boxes, wrapped in carefully chosen paper, with beautiful bows skillfully created.  Gifts bestow honor, they reveal the heart of a giver.  They are like a commercial break in the middle of a relationship that says "Wait.  Stop.  Let's pause for a second because I just have to tell you what you mean to me."  And then the show goes on.  

I love giving gifts.  It's kind of my favorite thing.  I love thinking about the person I'm gifting, I love remembering conversations, hearing wishes that have been given voice.  I love spying items a loved one would love 6 months ahead of time, and purchasing it for a future moment.  I love the opening.  I LOVE the opening.  I love when I've done my research well, and the gift fits the person just right or is exactly what they've been thinking about buying.

I've received some amazing gifts.  The luxurious, the sentimental, the unexpected, the kind that make you cry--not from what they are--but from what they represent---or that are given just when you felt like giving up.  

But the best gifts in my life?  Are you.

Every relationship has something to offer.  Every relationship brings a fragrance.  Every relationship gifts the other.

My lifelong friend Laura, whom I have so little in common with as an adult, gifts years and years of memories, arguments about which beach to play on, and an alternate perspective to consider while becoming myself.  Her family were nature-loving, tree-hugging liberals and owned stock in the only bookstore in town which I was not allowed to enter, because of my family's political beliefs.  She was the wild, loud friend who got my brothers all riled up when she visited, and I can't imagine how boring elementary school would have been without her. When we visit  now, she hopes for a 5-mile walk with the dog, I hope for a cup of coffee.  We couldn't be more different.  Her difference gifts me.  It taught me at a young age, that people with strong opposing opinions and world views can walk in harmony and find common ground.

My friend Diana and I had a year together.  She came unannounced into my world one Saturday night at our eccumenical youth group.  I was instantly jealous of her because on her first night she was breezy and seemed to own the place, while I belonged there, but with typical teenage angst, didn't know it.  But a conversation later, and we were inseperable.  Her personality fit mine like a glove, and together we had a year of adventures which included "fasting until death" for this young man we had a burden for (I got convicted and gave up after 2 days, she kept going much longer.)  Together, we braved a swim in the Pacific Ocean in February, we picked up hitchhikers and witnessed to them as we drove them to their party place, we kissed strangers on New Years.  She gifted me with adventure, with whimsy, with fun, with companionship.

I give past examples because if I were to start on present relationships, I'd never get done.   There are those who gift laughter, there are those who gift their ear, there are those who gift unmeasurable acceptance.  I have friends who provoke me to good works, and those who gift accountability.  Friends who would give me the shirt off their backs, and those who put me up when I've lost my keys.  I am fortunate.  

We are all a gift to those we come in contact with.  Who we are gives to those around us, even when we don't realize it.  The personality and gifts God has planted, and the character we've allowed Him to work in us give off a fragrance, one that is distinguishable to those we walk near.  

I have a friendship that I'm kind of insecure in, because many times it feels like I am the recipient, and I wonder how my life gifts this friend.  She tells me it's my peacefulness which ministers to her. This surprised me greatly (I was expecting my amazing wit, or profound beauty) but peacefulness is a quality I recognize about myself, so it makes sense that it's a fragrance others whiff.

A rose can only give the fragrance of a rose.  A cup of coffee will never smell like a rose, though many might (rightly) argue it's scent is just as lovely.  We can only give who we truly are.  

Some relationships in my life gift patience, because they build it in me, every time our paths cross.

When I give gifts, I give my best.  I take time to fit each gift to the person, I package it with care, so the recipient feels special.  If I am meant to be given out, I want my life to communicate the same. When someone spends time with me, I want them to feel as though they are unwrapping an unexpected treasure, I want them to wonder what God, the Giver has in store and to be delighted at the revealing.  I want to be used to gift many---and be exactly what they need at the moment.

I want my life to accomplish the wish of the Giver, and to bestow honor on the one He chooses.

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Photo credit: Leonardo Wong on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/@nardoleo

The God who Meets us

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"Are you looking for a place?" 

My Spanish teacher and I were walking around town, following up housing leads.  For my 2nd summer in Guatemala, I had been a bit more adventurous than my first trip.  I had lined up Spanish schools and homestays in 3 different towns, one off the beaten path.  

I was in the infamous hippie town, San Pedro La Laguna, on Guatemala's beautiful Lake Atitlan, whom Aldous Huxley termed "the most beautiful place in the world."  My homestay was not a place I felt comfortable, so I was looking for a new place to call home for the 2 weeks I'd be studying there.  My Spanish teacher was helping me.

Evidently my mission to find housing was easily discerned by the local who approached us that morning.  After a brief conversation, my teacher and I followed the chapin down a narrow path toward the lake.

For less than a 20 minute phone call home to my Mom, I could rent a cute little home 1000 feet from the lake (closest thing to heaven on this earth), and 1/4 mile from my school.  FOR 2 WEEKS.  2 WEEKS!  The things dreams are made of.  Happening.  To ME.  No.  FOR ME.

Throughout my life, there have been these moments.  These times where the God of the Universe has stooped down and offered His hand.  Times when He has shown up to do something special just because I'm His kid.  Just to let me know He still sees me, and that He is near.  

The times when I notice these favors most?  Is when I've stepped out of the boat AT HIS WORD, and am obeying something He has spoken specifically into my life.  In this case, it was the call to become fluent in Spanish.  

Obedience has it's rewards.  This God who meets us in prayer, in great worship services, in our quiet study times, in the eyes of the people we meet, also meets us AS WE GO.  As we obey.

And His rewards tend to be better than what we ask Him for.  Like a good Dad, He only gives the best gifts.

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Why "Money Can't Buy Happiness" is a Lie

My friend Nadia showed up unexpectedly at my house once with these beautiful flowers in hand.  I had been given a beautiful vase in a gift exchange at one of her Christmas parties (by another faithful friend).  She said she wanted to be the first to fill that vase with love.  Extravagant.  Happiness.  Proof Positive.

My freshman year at Portland Bible College, we were asked to do a study on a character quality.  I chose generosity.  It was one of my first experiences endeavoring to look at every verse on a particular topic in Scripture and turned out to be a great learning experience.  But more than that, there was a MARKED sense of God's presence as I studied, that has never been duplicated in any other study I've done.  

I've come to expect God's presence during worship, and I often sense Him when I pray.  But during this study, He came close.  He was there with me as I read verses, there when I organized my findings into categories, and there when I presented them in class.  His near tangible closeness felt like a warm blanket around me, or like a close friend looking over my shoulder.  I could feel His smile and His interest.  I was studying something close to His heart.

God loves extravagant giving because He is an extravagant giver and when we participate in giving, we are expressing His character.  I think it's like a parent looking at their own DNA staring back at them when they see their children.  Deep calls unto deep, and He senses His DNA in us, when we act like Him.

The funnest, most exciting moments in life have been the times when I have given extravagantly.  It takes planning, it takes discipline to set aside funds, it takes a depth of love.  It takes research to be sure that the gift is matching the person being given.  It takes plotting.  It takes dreaming.  All of which stretch across time, and build anticipation in the giver's heart.

Watching joy arise in a person's heart after a long day, or wash over them like a wave, or erupt like Niagra Falls as the result of a gift?  There's no better feeling.  

Money may not buy happiness when we spend it on ourselves; but the keenest, sharpest joy I've ever experienced is when I've acted like my Heavenly Father and given extravagantly with all my heart.

Money can absolutely buy happiness.  When given away.