On Bad Beginnings

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I have crazy stories from my first few years of teaching.  The fact that my career in education began in the South Bronx might have something to do with it, but nearly every teacher I know has unbelievable tales from their beginnings in the field.

My first year teaching was also my first year of living out my lifelong dream of living in the greatest city in the world; New York.  Here in the Portland area we recently just pulled out of a long snow season where schools lost an unprecedented 8 or more school days due to difficult road conditions.  The experience took me back to my first winter in "the city."

I had driven cross country in August, and my church, Hosanna Christian Fellowship had helped line up temporary housing for me in East Harlem.  By Thanksgiving, I had moved in with another roommate in Fresh Meadows, Queens.  It was a beautiful residential part of town that looked more like Anystreet, America than how one typically pictures New York.  It also was far enough out that it wasn't serviced by the subways so you had to take a bus to Flushing where you could catch the 7 train, and then transfer once in Manhattan.

None of this mattered because I had my car.  Until. the snow. came.  And come, it did.  My Ford Escort was completely snowed in.  Undeterred, I got a shovel and spent the hours needed to shovel out my car.  Being a hardy Alaskan, I had no plans of letting a little snow keep me from my job.  Within a half hour of shoveling out, a snow plow came by and undid all of my hard work.  A bit discouraged and not having the willpower to shovel myself out again, the next day, I paid some fellows who stood ready with shovels to help anytime you stepped outside  (New York has it's perks!) to re-claim my car.  Totally worth the price.  Within a few hours, the wonderfully efficient snow plows of New York City plowed my car in again.

And so began a winter of 5-hour round trip daily commutes.  5 hours.  It probably lasted only a few weeks, but it felt like months.  My first winter.

What is it about beginnings which are always hard?

Consider these beginnings:

-My 1st class ever had 6 students who were severely behaviorally disabled as defined by the programs they ultimately ended up in (A tough year is having one student who falls into this category; in my 21 years of service, other than these 6? I have had one student who this would describe.  ONE.)

-My first weekend in New York, I went out to take pictures of where I lived for my mom.  East 110th Street and Lexington.  As I snapped pictures, men literally moved back from storefronts into the corners, and one called out, "What are you taking pictures for?"  My roomie was later to inform me that one of the storefronts was a drug outlet and that likely everyone in my pics was a drug dealer.  Oops.

-Walking into a Crossfit box for my first workout 

-1st solo day on job of a summer bookkeeping gig.  I didn't know what to do and no one else was there, and I had already been trained, so I sat there frozen for 2 hours, until the gal who trained me called in to see how I was doing and redirected me

I'm sure you have a lot of stories of tough beginnings" of your own.  It seems to be a thing.

Makes sense though, no?  The best things in life all COST.  And COST BIG.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING QUITE AS AMAZING AS FEELING YOUR ENTIRE BODY ON FIRE, AFTER A CROSSFIT WORKOUT.  When you have "left it all on the floor" and gone for broke---and at first it feels like a warm fire is engulfing you, and then it feels as though you have been swimming for an hour because your body feels soooo clean . . .

But to get there, there is a price to pay . . .

I think tough beginnings are a predictable part of anything important we set our hearts on. Tough things separate those who really want something, from those who are only "following the script."  Everyone starts back to the gym in January.  How many of those folks are still there in March?  

There are natural rewards in life, hidden out there for those willing to go after them and NOT QUIT.

There are rewards in exercise.  As I've dropped off my Crossfitting efforts, I've watched people who began Crossfit at roughly the same time as I did, completely overhaul their physiques.

There are rewards in good stewardship of finances.  I have friends who bought their first home right out of college, whom have progressively moved to better and better homes.

There are rewards in relationships.  As someone who has valued loyalty over the pleasure of unforgiveness, I'm here to tell you there is nothing sweeter than a relationship that has gone thru deep waters and survived.  

There are rewards in seeking truth.  There are rewards in finishing a degree.  There are rewards in ending well.  There are rewards in doing it right the first time.  There are rewards in staying put when everything inside you wants to leave.

There are rewards in getting through tough beginnings.  Because they are almost always tough.

I'm at a church where we our current series is "GO BIG."  We are being encouraged to dream big, pray big, and go after big things this year.

As I've begun to do this, I've already hit some tough beginnings.   And I've had to ask myself, "How bad DO I really want the things I've set my eye on?"

Do I want it bad enough to keep pushing through?  Is my lack of want due to the smallness of my goal, or an undefined goal?  Thoughts on a January weekend.


Photo Cred: Brook Cagle, Unsplash.

https://unsplash.com/@brookecagle