My favorite party game is based upon a television game show, To Tell the Truth, which originally ran from 1956 to 1968. In the party game version, guests write down a list of things which no one else in the room knows about them. It could be a childhood event, a brush with fame, or an interesting fact, but the best items are always those which lend themselves to a funny story.

Once the guests have written their list, the game’s host gathers the lists and reads them privately. The host calls 3 “contestants” to the front, and one item from ONE contestant’s list is read aloud. The person whose item is read must tell the truth. The other 2 contestants must lie (or act if that makes you feel better.) The job of the 2 “actors” is to get people to believe the fact is true of them. The person who is telling the truth is trying to convince the crowd that the fact is NOT true of them. The crowd asks questions of the contestants and the host eventually calls for a vote as to whom was most convincing. Then the true person whose story is being told stands up.

You learn a lot about people playing this game. Not only is it thoroughly entertaining to ascertain how well your friends lie, and whether or not they have a “tell,” but it’s equally revealing to see what types of questions people ask. One of my favorite parts is the stories which are told after each round, first by the person who wrote the fact—-and then by others who jump in with similar experiences.

Thanks to Christmas parties, a recent birthday party, and a classroom full of 10-year olds ready to play any game I present to them, I’ve played this game a lot in the past few months. It’s made me aware of how seldom I tell my best life stories, and how many stories we all have in us.

And it’s made me start to reminisce through all the wonderful events and details of my life. So often I focus on the negative things I’m experiencing, rather than being grateful for all of the truly amazing experiences I’ve had on earth. Even the tough times look golden once a few years have gone by and once you can see the meaning in what you walked through.

While it’s popular in some circles to bemoan social media and the inherent angst and addiction which can accompany it, Facebook and Instagram’s outstanding contribution is that it has become this living, public photo album where we can share some of the greatest moments of our lives with those we value but whom can’t be there in person. And we get to share small moments that move us. And we get to share bursts of insight and silliness that make us human. We get an audience for the small revelations of every day life and the making it public invites the community we’ve chosen to live alongside and laugh and cry with us. I can’t count this as a bad thing.

There’s a driving need in all of us to be known and to share who we are with others. I think one of the greatest gifts we can bestow on others is to honor one another by listening. I think one of the greatest ways to serve another is to sit with a friend over a cup of coffee and ask them the types of questions that will draw out their story and stories. And to then listen with a full heart that reflects back their value and worth.

To be noticed, to be known puts a spark back in people’s eyes. It’s like an IV of hope that can sustain another’s dreams when they are all but dead. It’s something we have all experienced and it’s something we can all do.

Here’s to our next cup of coffee and the friends who join us.

Photo by Mikail Duran on Unsplash

Kaleidoscope