When Others Walk Out, the Church Walks in
Every once in awhile, one of my Facebook friends posts one of those friendship quotes which makes me want to jump up and down, and yell at my computer screen. I'm not that demonstrative of a person, so I don't ACTUALLY jump up and down and yell, but like laughing out loud on the inside, jumping up and down on the inside counts.
There is a common idea out there which advice gurus like to dispense that:
You should only have friends which will build you up.
It comes in quotes like, "Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher," or "People inspire you or drain you, pick them wisely," or in "successful people" advice columns which encourage a person to walk away from anyone in their life who is the least bit needy, negative, or draining.
It astonishes me how many Christians buy into this idea. It's troublesome to me because who among us has not been needy, or negative, or draining? And if we, as the church of the Living God distance ourselves from those who need help the most, what does that say about the church? If you and I, WHO ARE THE CHURCH, walk away from the negative and lonely, the despairing, and hurting, in the name of our own health and success, of what good is the church to a dying world?
Oh, you might say, you're misunderstanding. It's not that we don't "reach out," it's that our closest friends are those who build us up. We don't allow toxic relationships. We have good boundaries.
The problem with that? Is that I don't see it in scripture. Jesus was the friend of sinners. And he chose them to be his closest companions. Matthew, as a tax collector, was a social outcast. Simon the Zealot was a political rebel whose group wanted to overthrow Rome. Tax collectors and Zealots were known enemies. Peter was rough enough around the edges that he thought nothing of cutting a soldier's ear off. I'm thinking you don't get to that level of violence against the authority of the land without having committed some violence before. James and John were the "positive" ones in the group who wanted to call down fire from heaven the first time they were offended. Jesus closest friends in this life were negative, toxic people!!!!! David, who was "a man after God's own heart" gathered to himself those in debt, in distress, and discontented.
I want to be like Jesus and David. I want to have friends who are positive and who contribute to my success, but I also want to BE the friend who lifts others up. The rebel, the social outcast, the discouraged, the discontent, and the ones that no one else would choose to be friends with.
I'm not there yet, but I sense the changing of the tide, and the blowing of the wind which so often comes before change.
That's the poetic way to say it. The "real" way of saying it is I'm convicted. I need people in my life to give to that make me uncomfortable. I need to have people around who are raw, and unrefined. I need to give, because I have been the recipient for a long time.
I am glad that in my years of discontent, depression, and even deep anger that my friends were people willing to walk in real friendship. I'm glad they were never "wise" enough to walk away from everyone not positive and uplifting. May I always be so unwise. May the Church always BE the church.