I was thinking about love languages today.

Speaking All of the Languages

I think Gary Chapman's idea that we primarily express love through 1 of 5 ways (Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Affection, Gift Giving, and Acts of Service) is an interesting concept. But I tend to think of love languages as being more fluid--I believe we each move in all of these ways to express love depending upon the relationship, the level of the friendship, and the season we're in.

For instance, when I lived in NYC I attended a predominantly Latino church. There was a WHOLE lot of physical affection all the time. If you went out to eat after church, upon arriving at the restaurant you greeted every single person with a kiss on the cheek. Saying goodnight took a good half hour, because you also kissed every single person goodbye. When I first arrived back in the NW at my new church home, I once forgot myself and kissed one of the pastors on the front row as I was going past for offering or communion. I hadn't met his wife yet, and I can still remember the look on her face! Needless to say, I adjusted my love language of operation to fit my new setting.

Sometimes the love language spoken is dependent upon the relationship. It's unlikely I'd give a gift to someone I'd just met, but there are others whom I might pick up something for just because it reminded me of them or spend a good deal of time looking for the PERFECT gift for them for that special occassion. Likewise, I have one friend whom I spend very little time with, who for whatever reason I inherently trust physically. She can come up and give me a backrub and I think nothing of it---where if some of my closer friends tried that I'd be like, "What do you think you're doing?" We respond differently in love to different people.

Loving God in Every Language

In spite of an imperfect theory, I was thinking about love languages today in light of how I love God.

1) Quality Time---No close friendship can survive without huge chunks of quality time. Am I giving God and I enough time to really talk over all of the things we really need to talk over? Do we have time just to hang out and enjoy one another? Am I building intimacy or distance into our friendship?

2) Words of Affirmation---Am I worshipping at home, or just on Sundays? Am I telling the Lord what I love about Him or just telling Him what I need? Keeping in mind how powerful second-hand compliments are, am I telling others about how amazing He is, in His presence?

3) Physical Affection--Ok, we can't REALLY hug God yet. But Jesus did say "Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me". Am I becoming His arms and feet by reaching those more in need than me? And am I using my body to express my love to Him in worship?

4) Gift Giving--When I am moved by emotion in a friendship, it naturally produces in me a desire to give. The emotion might come from celebrating a friend’s birth, or through realizing they're going through a tough time, or by gratitude for their love to me. When is the last time I gave to the Lord because emotion welled up inside and I JUST HAD to give Him something? I don't know about you, but I don't usually think in those terms with the Lord. I think of giving a percent, or giving to meet someone's need, but I've never considered giving to HIM out of pure joy and emotion. But the Israelites did---they had a whole system for giving free-will offerings. (In addition to their mandatory tithe). Just to say thanks God. Convicting!

5) Acts of Service---If this were the only way to express love to God, would He know that I love Him? Can His friends see that I'm madly in love with Him by my service?

Am I loving God fully, fluently with all that I am?

That's what I thought about today.

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