Why "Money Can't Buy Happiness" is a Lie

My friend Nadia showed up unexpectedly at my house once with these beautiful flowers in hand.  I had been given a beautiful vase in a gift exchange at one of her Christmas parties (by another faithful friend).  She said she wanted to be the first to fill that vase with love.  Extravagant.  Happiness.  Proof Positive.

My freshman year at Portland Bible College, we were asked to do a study on a character quality.  I chose generosity.  It was one of my first experiences endeavoring to look at every verse on a particular topic in Scripture and turned out to be a great learning experience.  But more than that, there was a MARKED sense of God's presence as I studied, that has never been duplicated in any other study I've done.  

I've come to expect God's presence during worship, and I often sense Him when I pray.  But during this study, He came close.  He was there with me as I read verses, there when I organized my findings into categories, and there when I presented them in class.  His near tangible closeness felt like a warm blanket around me, or like a close friend looking over my shoulder.  I could feel His smile and His interest.  I was studying something close to His heart.

God loves extravagant giving because He is an extravagant giver and when we participate in giving, we are expressing His character.  I think it's like a parent looking at their own DNA staring back at them when they see their children.  Deep calls unto deep, and He senses His DNA in us, when we act like Him.

The funnest, most exciting moments in life have been the times when I have given extravagantly.  It takes planning, it takes discipline to set aside funds, it takes a depth of love.  It takes research to be sure that the gift is matching the person being given.  It takes plotting.  It takes dreaming.  All of which stretch across time, and build anticipation in the giver's heart.

Watching joy arise in a person's heart after a long day, or wash over them like a wave, or erupt like Niagra Falls as the result of a gift?  There's no better feeling.  

Money may not buy happiness when we spend it on ourselves; but the keenest, sharpest joy I've ever experienced is when I've acted like my Heavenly Father and given extravagantly with all my heart.

Money can absolutely buy happiness.  When given away.

Loving God Fluently

I was thinking about love languages today.

Speaking All of the Languages 

     I think Gary Chapman's idea that we primarily express love through 1 of 5 ways (Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Affection, Gift Giving, and Acts of Service) is an interesting concept.  But I tend to think of love languages as being more fluid--I believe we each move in all of these ways to express love depending upon the relationship, the level of the friendship, and the season we're in. 

     For instance, when I lived in NYC I attended a predominantly Latino church.  There was a WHOLE lot of physical affection all the time.  If you went out to eat after church, upon arriving at the restaurant you greeted every single person with a kiss on the cheek.  Saying goodnight took a good half hour, because you also kissed every single person goodbye.  When I first arrived back in the NW at my new church home, I once forgot myself and kissed one of the  pastors on the front row as I was going past for offering or communion.  I hadn't met his wife yet, and I can still  remember the look on her face!  Needless to say, I adjusted my love language of operation to fit my new setting.

     Sometimes the love language spoken is dependent upon the relationship.  It's unlikely I'd give a gift to someone I'd just met, but there are others whom I might pick up something for just because it reminded me of them or spend a good deal of time looking for the PERFECT gift for them for that special occassion.  Likewise, I have one friend whom I spend very little time with, who for whatever reason I inherently trust physically. She can come up and give me a backrub and I think nothing of it---where if some of my closer friends tried that I'd be like, "What do you think you're doing?"  We respond differently in love to different people.  

 Loving God in Every Language

     In spite of an imperfect theory, I was thinking about love languages today in light of how I love God.

1) Quality Time---No close friendship can survive without huge chunks of quality time. Am I giving God and I enough time to really talk over all of the things we really need to talk over?  Do we have time just to hang out and enjoy one another?  Am I building intimacy or distance into our friendship?

2) Words of Affirmation---Am I worshipping at home, or just on Sundays?  Am I telling the Lord what I love about Him or just telling Him what I need?  Keeping in mind how powerful second-hand compliments are, am I telling others about how amazing He is, in His presence?

3) Physical Affection--Ok, we can't REALLY hug God yet.  But Jesus did say "Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me".  Am I becoming His arms and feet by reaching those more in need than me?  And am I using my body to express my love to Him in worship? 

4) Gift Giving--When I am moved by emotion in a friendship, it naturally produces in me a desire to give.  The emotion might come from celebrating a friend’s birth, or through realizing they're going through a tough time, or by gratitude for their love to me.  When is the last time I gave to the Lord because emotion welled up inside and I JUST HAD to give Him something?  I don't know about you, but I don't usually think in those terms with the Lord.  I think of giving a percent, or giving to meet someone's need, but I've never considered giving to HIM out of pure joy and emotion.  But the Israelites did---they had a whole system for giving free-will offerings.  (In addition to their mandatory tithe).  Just to say thanks God.  Convicting!

5) Acts of Service---If this were the only way to express love to God, would He know that I love Him?  Can His friends see that I'm madly in love with Him by my service?

Am I loving God fully, fluently with all that I am? 

That's what I thought about today.