We Can All Change the World

When my mom went through open heart surgery a few years ago, I took a personal day and sat alone at Thatchers, a local coffee shop.  The operation took place in Seattle, but I didn’t have the gas money to drive up there that day.  I was a wreck. 

Although I have a strong support system, close friends, and a supportive church and work environment, I couldn’t bring myself to let others into my worry and emotions.  I couldn’t ask for help.  Sometimes things are too close to your heart, and sometimes having expectations that might go unmet is just too risky.

I needed encouragement.  That day, God used a long distant high school friend via the wonders of Facebook, to speak life and hope into me.  He reassured me, and chatted on and off with me all day. That day, he was Jesus to me.  

We don’t always know what those next to us are facing.  Or, even if we do, we often judge another’s strength and emotions in the situation based on our life, our emotional makeup, and our strengths.  Sometimes, instead of compassion we see others troubles and their reaction to it and think something along the lines of “Why don’t they just suck it up?  That wouldn’t even phase me.” 

The truth is we can’t judge another’s journey.  We haven’t lived in their bodies, we haven’t experienced their disappointments, we haven’t known the pain specific to what has brought them to that moment that we are sitting in judgment of. 

I think we live in a society bereft of true encouragement.  I have found that when a negative quality exists in an individual, there is often a hurt that has caused it.  If a child is rebellious, look hard enough and you’ll find a wound that turned into bitterness.  If a person is manipulative or passive-aggressive, it often means they feel controlled or are lacking power in the relationship. 

I believe that one reason our society is self-promotional and narcissistic is because as a whole our society has forgotten how to encourage.   If people were getting their needs for acknowledgement and affirmation met, they wouldn’t need to promote themselves or turn inwards to find encouragement.  

If there is someone fishing for a compliment, we often turn away.  I think Jesus would have fed them.  

Why We Should Encourage

1.  The Bible tells us to.

 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

2.  God encourages

As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.  (Psalms 138:3)

3.  To build up one another’s faith

When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.  (Romans 1:12)

4.  It strengthens the weak

With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees.  (Isaiah 35:3)

We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  (I Thessalonians 5:14)

5.  It helps people not give up

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.  (Hebrews 3:13)  

6.  It's just the right thing to do.

For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; So that he does not forsake the fear of the Almighty.  (Job 6:14) (NASB)

Another version says, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”  (NIV)

Ways God Encourages

1.  Affirmation

 God: When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” (Judges 6:12)

2. Speaking identity

God:  As they approached, Jesus said, "Now here is a genuine son of Israel--a man of complete integrity."  (John 1:47)  

3. By Being There

God: The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire.  (Exodus 13:21)

4. With the Love of a Father

God: I taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by their arms; But they did not know that I healed them.  I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love, and I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck.  I stooped and fed them. ( Hosea 11:3,4)

5. By Listening

God:It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.  (Isaiah 65:24)

6. Being Supportive

God:  No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.  (Joshua 1:5)

7. Believing in the person, and voicing that belief

God:  For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

8. By entrusting one with a job after proven service

God: Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them.  (Joshua 1:6)

9. Loving Correction

God: For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.  (Hebrews 12:6)

10.  By giving the most valuable thing He had

God: For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  (John 3:16)

I believe we can change the world, one person at a time, by practicing encouragement, like our Heavenly Father.

May no one ever have to "fish" around you or I; may we feed them before they ever go hungry in our presence.

Themes from the Lives of People I've been Reading

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Picture courtesy of Warrell.com  

I LOVE people.  And I love the idea which has been popularized in a lot of places lately, that every person around us has a unique and interesting story to tell.  I'm lucky enough to be surrounded with some amazing friends, and I wish I could share them each with those of you reading my words.

So on this last day of the year, I thought I would share with you, some of the themes of their lives.  These are the life lessons that I've read on the pages of their hearts and on the character God has forged in them.

In no particular order:

Erin:  Life is too important to live casually.  Live with great intention and laugh often.

Pete:  If you truly care about someone, you will have an eye to their long-term gain, and your actions will demonstrate that, even if it makes them uncomfortable in the short term.

Danae:  Life lived in gratitude is a life lived in joy.  

Renn & Taylor: Take time to make a connection.  People over schedule.

Katie: There is always something to celebrate in life.

Nadia: Our lives are meant to showcase the glory of God.  God and people deserve our very best.

Keri: People matter.  They are worth late night talks, they are worth 3 AM rides to the hospital, they are worth fighting for when no one else is fighting for them, they are worth spending your last penny on, they are worth broken toys and ruined carpets, they are worth relocating for, they are worth serving alongside, they are worth LIFE. People matter.

Sue:  There is great beauty to God in a life lived enjoying His world; His melodies, His creatures, His children.  It is ok to enjoy life, for life.

Tamar: Love with arms wide open.  If you fully accept others, you yourself will have nothing to hide.  

Darcy: Life IS our happy place.

Sandee:  Friends listen, friends protect, friends invite, friends show up, friends stay.

Pi' t'r:  How do I stop sinning?  Go to Jesus.  How do I change my heart? Go to Jesus. How do I forgive better?  Ask Jesus.  What about  . . .GO TO JESUS.  Can I have a hug? Yes, that I can do.

Rachel:  YOU are awesome.  (When she says it, I believe it.  More than anyone else.)

Bob:  I completely accept you.  Go accept others.

Elizabeth: Never underestimate the power of kindness and encouragement to change a person's outlook, and course.

Kelli: Just be honest.  Life's funner that way.

Kevin Conner, Joel Klein, and Bob Goff: Good leaders are accessible.

Pastor Sue: Anything that needs to be said, can be said with grace and kindness.

Pastor Bob: It makes a difference to THIS one.  (As in when asked why he's throwing starfish back into the sea, and he answers "To save them" and it's pointed out how MANY MANY starfish there are on the beach and he's asked how can he ever make a difference.)  It makes a difference to THIS one.

I have been the one.   And it has made a difference to me.

I have the greatest people in my life, and their lives instruct.

What are people reading from your life?

The Summer of Jack & Marvin

When I was really young, my mom helped co-lead a neighborhood youth group, called "HIM Club" or "Heaven-in-Me Club."  

I don't remember much, because I was probably 4.  But I do carry several pictures of that season with me.

I have a strong memory of one particular night.  We had a BBQ or picnic of some sort and were out on one of the big lawns that existed on Alice Island in those days.  I have feelings and impressions more than sharp imagery.  Here's what I recall:

I remember singing "It only takes a spark, to get a fire going . . .and soon all those around can warm up in it's glowing.  That's how it is with God's love.  Once you've experienced it, it's fresh like spring, you'll want to sing.  You'll want to pass it on."  

I remember that as young as I was, I knew every word to that song, I remember looking around as were were singing, I remember the peace, I remember the warmth, I remember community.  

And I remember Jack & Marvin.  Jack & Marvin (whom we always referred to as one entity) were these 2 college age men, who were with us for the summer.  I remember their faces and builds---but more than that, I remember that anyone who was around them left happy.  I remember them joking around with people, I remember they noticed me and played with me, I remember the joy they infused into the atmosphere, that warms me still today when I think of them, I remember HAPPY.

The whole scene warms me, because it was my first (probably literal) Kum Bah Yah moment.  Community.  Unity.  

I know that that moment existed because of the reality of what we were singing about---the love of Jesus.  

But, I believe this memory in me is strong because of the example of love I saw embodied in 2 kids who chose to give their life away for a summer.  Looking back as an adult, I'm sure they had issues, I'm sure they had many reasons to disqualify themselves.  I'm sure they are not aware of the impact they likely had on many.  

I'm definite that they would never guess that a 4-year old all grown up still remembers them and counts them blessed.

The people you put before your children matter.  Your kids have a spiritual radar and can be helped or harmed by those you surround them with.  Even the little ones.  

---

Photo cred: Photo by Tegan Mierle on Unsplash

If You're Ever in Bend . . .

The Harris Family

The following is a note previously published on Facebook.  It is about 2 families I had to say goodbye to awhile back, and the process of releasing them.  If you're ever in Bend, Oregon look up Epikos Church or Bend UpCycle and go say hello.  They are some of the friendliest (and in one case, craziest) people you'll ever meet. 

Learning to Let go (Lessons from the Bend Team)

They say there are 5 stages of grief: 

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance                                                                                                                                                       

As the team headed to Bend prepares to leave, my stages have gone more like this:

1) Shock

2) Anger

3) Deep sadness

4)Denial                                                                                                                                

I'm hoping to stay in denial a few more years, and be pleasantly surprised whenever we have visitors. 

I grew up in a small town in Alaska where it was normal for people to come and go.  Alaska is the land of adventure where many people come for a few years, only to move on when the sense of adventure (or jobs) dries up.  Most Seniors in high school go away to college or move "Down South"--a healthy alternative and rite of passage to today's overprotected generation whose parents insist they go to school in their hometown and can't endure empty nest syndrome long enough to let their newly adult children grow wings of their own. 

As a kid, I learned to say goodbye a lot.  College was no different.  I made some of the deepest (and most playful) friendships of my life, only for us all to be scattered 4 years later, rarely together since.

But nothing really prepared me for the Harris's announcement.  Oh, I had heard things over the years, and had noticed their frequent out-of-town invitations to speak.  But none of it phased me, because I knew God would never let them leave.  City Harvest needed them too much.

Like Bob and Sue, their touch reached everyone.  Somehow, even with 6 near-perfect kids to raise, they found time to come alongside us, and speak a quick word.  One of encouragement, one of faith, one of great belief in who we are, and who we are destined to become.  They chose to coach by affirmation, and I soaked it up, since its my love language.  In a big church where everyone is serving, they SAW me, even in the little moments and breathed "MORE, MORE"  in every interaction. 

So when Pastor Bob started to make THE announcement, and my eyes took in the front row, with every single Harris having their own seat (That never happens), I realized with all of you what was happening.  And I wept.

By the end of the service, I was angry.  And disillusioned.  Why would God take THIS family from us?  Hadn't He taken enough?  I arrived at CHC right about the time J.O. and Raydean were leaving, but I didn't know them well enough to grieve.  Next to go were Matt and Lisa, our "original" members and a couple I never thought would go.  We felt the pain of one of Bob's arms being cut off and the adjustments as new arms were grown and the body was strengthened again.  The next wave was 3-fold as we bid the Horns, Gallis, and Harveys farewell.  I remember in that season coming across a post by Casey saying goodbye to Access.  I misunderstood and thought he and Brandy were leaving too, and though I didn't know them well at the time, started to cry.  I hadn't realized how much the goodbyes were affecting me. 

But nothing prepared me for the Harris announcement. I remember praying over them months before at a joint house church meeting.  God gave me the word "NO LIMITS,"  but I immediately qualified, "That doesn't mean you have to go start a church."  They evidently didn't listen to that part. 

When Andy and Keri announced a few weeks after the Harris's (over FACEBOOK no less), I wasn't surprised and was already grieving them.  Keri would often start sentences with, "If Phil and Shanda ever go start a church and we go with them . . ."  It took 4 kids to remind them what the rest of us had always known.  There are certain relationships that are called and yoked in covenant and God honors that. 

In fairness to Andy, he DID tell our house church first.  5 minutes before the world knew.  Via Facebook.  Facebook.  Maybe it was 2 minutes.  Had you been at that first house church after their announcement, you would either have thought we hated them, or that we loved them passionately.  No one said, "Congratulations!" No one encouraged them in their exciting new phase of life and how the Lord was leading them on a great new adventure.  We yelled at them.  We mocked them.  We disowned them.  We calmed down and heard their passionate retelling of how their CHILDREN heard from the Lord and how confirmation after confirmation came.  Then we yelled at the children, and mocked them and disowned them.  We weren't ready.  We still aren't honestly.   

Andy's modus operandi is something like this.  1st week new person comes:  HI!  Welcome to house church!  We're going to put you in the middle and pray over you.  2nd week:  Hey!  So glad you came back.  You're giving a word tonight.  You have 5 minutes to find a Bible verse and prepare something.  What's that?  You've never held a Bible before?  That's ok---here's mine.  God will help you.  Just go do it.  I used to hide in closets.  You don't hide in closets do you?  No? Great you'll do fine!"     

(After working behind the scenes a bit, I now know the conversation Andy and Keri had 5 minutes before everyone walked in.)  

Andy:  What are we going to do tonight?

Keri:  I don't know . . .let's do the egg game.

Andy:  No, we just did that 2 weeks ago.  People will remember.

Keri: They might not.

Andy:  Oh, I know.  I'll just assign all of our new people to give a word. 

Keri: How many new people are coming tonight?

Andy:  Only 8.  Slow night . . .                                                                                                                                 

Keri works a little faster than Andy.  Upon seeing a new person at church:  Hi, I'm Keri.  You ARE coming to our house church.  It's already decided.  By the way, I have this party in December . . .what's your name again?

As August approached, I waited for the deep grief of impending loss to abate.  I WANTED to be happy for Phil and Shanda.  I wanted to be happy for Andy and Keri.  They ARE going off on a great adventure.  A city WILL be shaken, God WILL move, and every team member WILL find their place and see their gifts grow in a new day and new annointing.  Jesus will be lifted up, people will be saved, and a new story will be written.  It's a GOOD thing.

But the joy didn't come.  Then the Lord reminded me of how action can sometimes shift emotions.  So I started collecting boxes for Phil and Shanda.  These cardboard things which will ultimately help carry them further away.  Yet as I have determined to serve them (in a small small way), the emotions have begun to shift.  I've found myself praying for them, for Bend, for a people I don't know crying out for fresh bread.  I spent time with their daughters and imagined them growing up with parents who held nothing back, running after the full call of God on their lives, jumping off cliffs in faith, expecting God to catch them, lives lived without limits.  I saw the daughters leading worship, prophesying, witnessing, and building the Kingdom of God---not someday, but in a few months.  I've lived long enough to know the need can pull it out of all of us, even as children.  They will be part of the great adventure of faith and destiny that we are all called to.

I haven't reached the final stage of grief yet:  ACCEPTANCE.  Where you let go and release the people you love to their calling.  Maybe by August. Or maybe the first time I get to visit Epikos and Keri finally cooks me the pie she owes me.

One thing I know.  I will always be grateful to Andy and Keri for believing in me in the NOW and not waiting until the NOT YET to put me to work.  And like Phil and Shanda, I will always seek to SEE people in their big and small moments in the Kingdom and prophesy MORE! MOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRE! into their spirits.  Even if it's not Tuesday.  :-)

Andy & Keri 

Epikos Church